ana | EssenceOfControl's Tags

Weblog » Tags » ana (all)

My whole world is the pain inside me, the best I can do is just get through the day.

Another long time no post. *sigh* Fortunately, the lack of posting doesn't mean what it usually means. Usually, when I fail to post or lurk around on xanga, it means I'm binging or completely ignoring my weight all …
There's always gonna be another mountain; I'm always gonna wanna make it move.

Well. I think now is a good time to start a fast. I just got done watching Center Stage: Turn It Up, and wow. The main character has a body that I would, seriously, kill for. On top of that, I think it's finally str…
If you're not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?

Long time no update, eh? I'm not particularly great at remaining consistent. Anyway! TJ and I have set two dates! The first being for our wedding, and the second for the reception. They'll be separate for several re…
Anybody home? Nobody home? Good-bye pants!

So yeah. I'm fasting today. And if I do eat anything it will be low carb. I'm tired of looking at the scale. And tired of my once loose jeans being snug. Not a happy situation. I've been taking vitamins, started on …
They say penguins mate for life, if so, then will you be my penguin?

It is time to reel in some god damn control! Since going to my grandmother's house in July, I have managed, not only to gain a tremendous amount of weight, but to also completely lose sight of what I was aiming for …
Try and keep your head up to the sky.

*sighs* It's been an ungodly long month. I think I may need to get my anti-depressants upped. They help a lot, but there are still remnants left. Mostly at night when TJ is in bed, and I can't think of anything to k…
Double your pleasure, double your fun...

Alrighty! I decided that I want to do something a little different this post! I'm going to run a few polls! So here are the questions: "How many of you know what purpura is?" "When you purge, what comes up f…
You keep me without chains...

Why hello! Long time no talk, xanga peoples! Yeah, okay, I'm a little hyper today for some reason. It's almost 6pm, and I just got out of bed. A LOT has happened in the past two weeks. First of all, the kids are now…
Beauty in the breakdown...

Yeah... I got my lip pierced on the 11th. I quite like it. However, I hate the mouthwash. My tongue is tender and numb and I can't taste much of anything. That's both a good thing and a bad thing. It makes fasting m…
Problem is "diets" not a big enough word, I wanna be so skinny that I rot from view.

My fast is going magnificently. My weight is back in the 170s, my ketone levels are high, I haven't been dizzy that much, I'm not sorely tempted by food, and I'm not suspect by anyone. Granted, my grandma hasn't lef…