Yep, hi. As every one has no doubt noticed, I suck at updating now. It seems like a bad thing, but I've found it's actually a very good thing. Less updates mean that I have less to bitch about which, by proxy, means that life is finally starting to work out the way I want it to. It's truly ironic the way it worked out, too. Right now I'm battling the highest weight I've ever been at, and yet... I can't really remember a time in my life that even begins to compair with the happiness and contentment that I have now.

     The irony doesn't end there, though. I used to think that to find happiness, you had to surround yourself in wonderful things that made it that way. But actually, I got this way by cutting away everything that ever made me unhappy. Stagnant friendships with people I didn't really like, family members who, while greatly loved, brought more stress than happiness, habits, attitudes, everything. I cut all of it away, and got with the one person who didn't cause me a whole lot of stress, and then every thing else just sort of fell into place. I got a job, I'm going to go to school, TJ is going to school, we have our own house that's clean, and we're getting married. We're both finally free of our emotional tormentors, and life just looks fucking awesome.

    Not to mention! We're both off of our meds now. It wasn't medically recommended, but we went off anyway, and now we both seem to be functioning better than ever. I mean, I, a schizoid with serious social anxiety, just got a job as a god damn server, and I'm not panicking over it. I'm actually excited! I think the universe was telling us something. Things just were not going the way we wanted for the longest time there, and the reason being, I think, is because we wanted them to work out without getting rid of the problems in our lives. And then the very instant we got rid of them, *poof*, every thing starts going our way. Her aunt left, and the very next day I got a job. I had been looking before that (not very hard, but still looking), and nothing even remotely promising turned up.

     And to make things better, my eating disorder has come back in full swing. I don't really have to think about losing weight to lose it. I'm down 5 pounds in three days. Much to my amazement because I was still eating. Not much, but I was. And last night I had a ton of soup, and even some ice cream. Low carb ice cream, but still ice cream. But I got up, and I'd lost 2 pounds. And now that I'm working, the weight will fall off like a stripper's clothes! All that walking around, and being around so much food... I won't have an appetite for it.

     But yeah, it's almost 10am now, and TJ is supposed to be getting up so we can go get my work pants and shoes, and then drop by a friend's so we can pay him and his boytoy the $200 we owe them. We bought a bed from them for $200, paid off half, and they also loaned us $100 so I could get my GED. It's awesome, the bed we bought, mattress included, costs about $1400. It's really nice. But he gave it to us for $200.

     Anyway! Thinspo and then I'm off.

Thinspo