| | Alrighty! I decided that I want to do something a little different this post! I'm going to run a few polls! So here are the questions: "How many of you know what purpura is?" "When you purge, what comes up first for you? What you ate last, or what you ate first?" "What method works best for you while purging? Any tips you've found particularly useful?" So there they are! I'd love to hear what you all have to say. I realize it's probably not a topic most people are comfortable discussing, but what is the Ana-Mia community good for if not to communicate this stuff? It's not like we can sit down, and talk about it over coffee with friends and family in person. That's what the community here is for. So don't be shy. Cause I'll poke you. And you don't want me to poke you. I have a stick, and it's pointy, and I'm not afraid to use it. *waves it around threateningly* Anyway, yeah... as you can see, my obsession has gained a new entity to focus on. I keep thinking of things to eat so I can purge them. I'm not giving in though, but just the knowledge that I can, and that I can still get rid of it if I do... it's awesome. However, I absolutely despise chocolate now. I had a spoonful of fudge last night, and I tried to purge it... and it would not come up. Not even the fucking pecans. So chocolate has been completely removed from the list of things I can eat. I also hate purging in the toilet. For one, my family is still disgusting, and doesn't know the meaning of the word clean. And for another... it's messy and a pain in the ass to purge in the toilet. And plus, it's safer to purge in the shower. The sound from the water, and being able to turn on a boombox while I'm in there covers the sound. And there's less likely to be a smell or anything that people will notice. And I take really long showers, so no one notices if I take forever. Yes, life is good. Aside from the house being a mess, but that doesn't really matter because I can't leave my room until the purpura has faded anyway. I am, however, going to clean the bathroom. I've always been finicky about the bathroom being clean, but now I'm even more so. Especially after living with my grandma for 6 months. Even at it's worst, the house there never got half as bad as it is here. In fact, "clean" here is about how messy it got over there. It really pisses me off, to be honest. I was the only able bodied adult there, and I was cleaning up after five people, and doing a good enough job that it never got anywhere as bad as it is here. But here, there are four other able bodied people who can clean, but it's still about ten times worse than what it was at my grandma's. And that's even after people have done some of their chores. It really says a lot about my family. My sister, for instance. When she came up to my grandma's with my mom last weekend, she would drop her dirty clothes where ever she happened to be standing when she took them off; she got food all over the place, and left it there for other people to clean up; she spilled things, and didn't bother even picking up the glass; she left plates of food in the middle of the floor; threw trash on the floor instead of putting it in the empty garbage can. And that was only over the course of two days. She's ten times worse here. And the rest of my family is just as bad. Why we even own a trash can is beyond me. It can be totally empty, and people will still drop there shit on the floor or leave it on the counter or where ever. But I'm not going to let any of that stress me out. Because I'm going home in a month. I'll be in Kansas with my Sweetness who's idea of dirty is about the same as mine. Yep. I'll be in a clean house with the person I love, and I'll be able to binge, fast, purge, exercise, and starve to my heart's desire without ever having to worry about anyone finding out because she already knows; it was our eating disorders that brought us together in the first place. Yes, life is good, and is only getting better. ^_^ Thinspo  
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